compassion

I was just made aware of a helpful website - www.theconversationproject.org.

It addresses a subject that seems as verboten as the religion and politics at the dinner table!!  This is a subject that we must all address at some point, either as the decision maker upon the death of a loved one, or as a human getting ready to exit this physical realm.  Yet it is clear that NO ONE wants to talk about the inevitablility of death.  We are all dying from the moment we are born - cells die, new cells form; friends die, new friendships are made;  our bodies die, our spirits continue on into eternity.

Have compassion for those left behind and TALK about your wishes for the end of your life - organ donation, burial or cremation, somber ceremony or a PARTY.  How are they to know if you don't plan ahead and especially WRITE IT DOWN.  Insurance policies, bank accounts, records, keys to the safe deposit box are all really important items after you are no longer there to tell them.  Update the information every couple of years and be sure the file is front and center in your file cabinet.  

I had a friend who disclosed that she had quite a lot of money stashed away in an account that her sons knew nothing about.  She died;  I disclosed the conversation to the sons.  Perhaps that is why she told me, she knew that I would when the time came.   My dad died quite a number of years ago but he too entrusted me with some "helpful" information.  He wanted to "be cremated and carried in the trunk so he wouldn't miss any vacations!!"  When the TIME CAME I disclosed that to my mom and sister and warned them that he had said he would "haunt them" if they spent thousands of dollars at the mortuary.  (Our family doesn't believe in "ghosts" but they heard what Dad was joking about.)  

This subject does not have to be somber; have fun, make jokes just as you would about any family business matter, any subject.  But do have the conversation.  Forms are available for Power of Attorney for Health Care, a Do Not Rescusitate Order, organ donation, etc.  FILL THEM OUT and put in that "READ FIRST" folder! 

Another site is www.threewishes.org or ask at your local hospital and GIVE THEM a copy of the DNR order - this does have to be notorized or signed with witnesses.  Check with your state for that requirement.